Friday, July 12, 2013

The miles

After I married, I always lived away from Ohio and family. All of the Loxley girls had scattered. We followed our husbands and their jobs. We never really considered that we had a choice. So we packed up and left our roots behind. We nested in new territory.

Vacation always meant packing up the family and returning to Neff Road. Our Christmas holiday was spent heading to the farm. If the weather was bad, we still made the trip. If a kid was sick, we still did the same. At first, I was so homesick that the trips were needed. Then it seemed that we never had our own family holidays and vacations. We never really did what we needed to do for us. At that point I began resenting the trips. I had begged my parents to move closer to one of their daughters so they  could enjoy their grandchildren. Our husbands had good jobs so moving closer to my parents was not an option for any of us.

After my dad was gone, I once again asked my mother to come live with me. "Do you really mean it?" she asked. Of course, I did. I had missed her most of my life. But still she would not come.

I learned a lesson from all of this. I learned that I would always live near one or, better yet, both of my children. If I was going to be grandmomming, then I wanted my grandkids close enough to do it. There was and is nothing more important to me.

Going to visit my sister for a month is, as always, a blessing. I find that living away from her leaves a big hole in my heart. Over the many years of traveling to the farm, there were those times when a sister or two was missing. Years and time seemed to separate us more and more. Yet when June and I get together, there is no distance of miles or time. I asked her the same question that I had asked my mother. Her life is full of friends and comfort where she lives. Here family is there.

It is a hard thing we do in this growing up and growing older. There is a missing that happens that can't be filled. There is a loss of time that cannot be recaptured. There are lessons learned that seem to be learned too late.

We spent vacations and holidays traveling to Neff Road all those years ago. I don't regret it for a moment.

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