Sunday, May 31, 2015

The Grey Blob

An apology. Yes, I owe an apology for both of my blogs. I haven't been as diligent as I should be in keeping up with these pages I love to write. Life gets in the way. Always I think of these pages as my ramblings with no one really paying any attention. Then I begin to doubt if I should be writing. Well, today is my wake-up call.

While slipping into the Sunday morning nest where I write my blogs and newspaper column, I found that I had comments that had not been moderated. Comments from readers that had not been acknowledged. I AM SORRY. Shame on me. You do read my ramblings. Sometimes I forget that maybe my words are your words as well. Sometimes I forget that I am a cog in a very large wheel, and I'd best be aware.

There is no novel in my words. I've come to accept that fact. I don't have pages of fiction in my head that need to find a voice. I'm not a non-fiction reader; therefore, I don't have it in me to write such books. So what am I? Hm. I often ask God to give me clarity. More often than not, I ask about my purpose on this little ball of earth. As a child, I was close to death. I bumped and rolled along in life the intervening years. I am a survivor thus I have purpose.

More recently as I age, I ask God that I learn more about this grey glob in my skull that contains an infinite amount of knowledge. Knowledge I can't even understand. I ask that in my remaining years, I might learn more of what it contains. Clarity of purpose. Exposure of gifts. An emptying of wealth that this grey matter holds. Contrary to what most people might do, I sometimes try to look into that grey mass persuading myself that if I look hard enough I might find something new. Don't try this at home. It doesn't work. Yet awareness comes to me at the most unusual times. Someone may ask advice and for some silly reason, the answer is in my head. I didn't come up with it. It just was there. We have a wonderful, mystical glob that possesses everything God intended for us just sitting there on top of our heads.

One thing I have learned is that this glob doesn't work well unless there is activity and stimulation. Opening to knew thoughts and ideas. Taking chances where our own doubt is our worst enemy. Time and time again, I have met people who do not know me but who have the same abstract beliefs that I do. I find that this grey mass shares a common thread with others. I often need to step away from who I believe I am in order to learn more about who I am supposed to be. It is a gift we are given at birth.

I have no idea where all of this came from today. Perhaps it is because of you, the readers, who take time to comment on the words that just pop out of my head. Perhaps it is another door that opened and God said, "Write. I am the words. You are my pen."

I believe in this grey mass on my head. This grey blob that refuses to stay dormant. The one that lets me know a few more things every day. My job is to listen and write. So to you who comment on my writings, I thank you. We are all of one thread that weaves in and out of this world and all of humanity. Thank you for being part of my tapestry.

1 comment:

Axiesdad said...

And more than once, your writing has been the catalyst to send me back to the keyboard. I thank YOUfor that.