Monday, October 19, 2015

Almond, the other milk

milk
milk/noun
1.
an opaque white fluid rich in fat and protein, secreted by female mammals for the nourishment of their young.
 
Hm. Milk. Have been drinking it all my life. Dad stopped milking cows before I came on the scene, but the milking parlour is there, so no doubt about it. We had fresh milk. Hollie milked cows. Uncle Keith milked cows. Grandad had a herd of milk cows. I never doubted where milk came from. Kitties drank fresh milk straight from the cows from a little tin pan. Hm. I am confused.

Rice milk. Soy milk. I sit watching a commercial for Almond Milk and am totally blown away at the image that crosses my mind of little almonds in the cattle yokes waiting to be milked. Hm. It must be very difficult to milk a little almond. I guess the same applies to rice and soy beans. Confusing to say the least.

I can see it all now. Children no longer sure of the source of milk or the use of milk cows. Those children raised on formulas that come from a powder would be surprised that true milk comes in liquid form. Every time I see the Almond Milk ad, the farm girl in me says, "uh-uh". Not true. You cannot milk an almond. Of course, no one is listening. No one seems to care. And the guy drinking the Almond Milk seems content. My guess is that he does not even like milk but is making good money doing the commercial.

Perhaps we had some confusion as kids as to the source of chocolate milk. Did it come from brown cows? If so, why would anyone have any other type of cow. It is indeed a milky situation.

I guess as a child I, too, was confused that we had beef cattle that were not milked. In my head full of questions, I wondered why the calf could get milk from the cow, but dad did not milk the cow. On top of that, I totally disliked the idea that the said calf would be raised for the dinner table. I much preferred to have it milked. Dad and I did not see eye to eye on the subject.

Every definition I looked up for milk said that it does indeed come from a cow. Daniel Webster would certainly be confused. Even the Old English Dictionary is sure that milk comes from bovine. Never have I questioned the dictionary. Nowhere in the tomes does it say that you can milk an almond. So what's up with this?!?!?!

Milkweed. Milk maids. Milk glass. Milky Way.  Milkman. Milk of human kindness. Perhaps I have milked this column much too long. Hm......coconut milk. Argh!

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