Monday, January 11, 2021

Closing doors

This week I moved away from my roots. It was a loss. I am in mourning for our country, for our families, for the children growing up in this terrible time. Perhaps you feel the same.

My youth was a time of growing up in what many thought were the glory years. That 'Life with Father' type of existence where the woman worked in the kitchen and on the farm, while the farmer tilled the land and planted it or went off to work to provide for his family. Recently someone wrote that she would like to go back to those days. Well, I don't. I pray we never do.

It was a white world, one in which men dominated. Racism was shown in big ways and small. I never realized what a racist my father really was until his later years.  I knew something was wrong when I was very young. It came home more clearly in my teenage years. 

My mother had wanted to go to college, but my grandfather forbade it. She cooked and cleaned and worked her fingers to the bone without complaint, because that was her job. Her job. I grew up where young couples were married right out of high school and babies followed soon after....if not before. It was the norm and everyone accepted it. They just followed in their parents footprints. It was an area of all Republicans. 

I found my voice as I grew older. I could accept party differences even though I could never understand why anyone would want to be anything other than a Democrat. For me it was a party of warm-hearted people who wanted good for all people. My father liked the Republicans, because he thought they were rich and powerful. My mother, I think, would have changed party had she seen the last four years.

Last week before the attack on the Capitol I had unfriended most of the people I love back in my home area. I know many will think that was a terrible thing to do, but it wasn't for me. I had written for their local paper for twelve years, trying to open minds, to get people to research what they were exposed to  and not just accept the things they heard or saw. Twelve years. I was encouraged by local ministers to keep it up. Evidently, they could not do much in their capacity. Then I would read posts from many of them accepting lies and posting absurdities. My nerves were shot. I could not bear to watch them follow the path they had so vehemently chosen. And, they were supporting the very things I am against. It was a moral decision

After the attack, I was relieved that I had separated from those people. I felt the burden of trying to save them was done. I could do no more. I wonder if they have changed or just justified what has happened, but I am apart from it now. 

This blog will come to an end this year. My broken heart has made writing difficult, especially this blog. I hope you are all safe. Please continue to wear a mask and stay isolated. Please get your vaccines. They are safe. Protect yourselves and those you love. Thank you for keeping up with me. My blog will end in August. I send you my love.